Blame Love, Not Violence?

In case you missed it with my previous posts on here, I have a thing for Eminem (not that thing) and his new album, but I have an even greater love for my girl Rihanna ever since she danced into my life in the summer of "Umbrella," right on through the pop perfection of Good Girl Gone Bad, the goth-glam of "Disturbia" and her more recent journey into her own dark places on Rated R. Along the way, there was the drama of her very public beating at the hands of fellow R&B superstar and then flame Chris Brown. Chances are you know the story - even if only through pop culture osmosis - the couple never made it to the Grammys two years ago, a picture of a bruised RiRi leaked to the Internet, tabloids and blogs followed their every move in the wake of the violence as they were together, then apart, and then he was charged. Rihanna returned with Rated R and a chilling and stirring interview on 20/20. An interview where she told Diane Sawyer - who was sitting in for that amporphous "American people" with the aid of fan YouTube vids and Twitter feeds - that she left Brown because she knew little girls were watching here, that she was the child of a violent home. Rihanna was passionate in spite of a stolid demeanor and their were tears and I believed her, even if it was in part to sell a record it still was stirring and the album seemed to speak to her need to vent anger, frustration and humilaiiton - she sings on the album about guns, bombs, being a ganster, being an idiot and taking revenge.

"Love The Way You Lie" - the number one single with Eminem rapping and Ri Ri singing the hook - gives us a different singer, one that stays and doesn't leave, that is trapped by love, that doesn't seem to hear Em rap about his failure to make good on the promise that "next time you'll use restraint" or the final haunting image where he threatens to tie her to the bed and set it on fire. And now comes a video that makes it all Hollywood, that wants to make a statement and be sexy at the same time and falls somewhere in the middle. Even the premiere wants to have it both ways - it ran tonight before MTV's breakout hit reality show Jersey Shore, a show which may be famous for its outsize tanned guidos and guidettes, but gained notoriety for a series of promos showing pint-sized terror Snookie getting hit by a man at a bar. Similarly "Love The Way You Lie" the video plays with the twin desires to make a point and sexualize violence and show intimate partner violence and gendered violence as sexy. The video, inspired by Eminem's famously tumultuous relationship with ex-Kim, features Megan Fox of the alien looks and Dominic Monaghan of Lost fame as lovers shown in the throes of a toxic relationship.

The video opens and closes with them interlocked in bed, reflecting their trapped nature. The first instance of violence is initiated by Fox upon discovering a girl's name written on her lover's hand but soon enough Monaghan flips her over and demonstrates his greater physical strength. This is seen throughout the video - Monaghan as our Eminem proxy is shown almost exclusively in white A-line Tees that emphasize his muscles and at one point he punches over Fox's head through drywall. "Love The Way You Lie" shows their intial meeting - eyes meeting across a bar, stealing a bottle of Vodka to share, and intercuts their bliss with drunken brawls in their apartment moving from room-to-room with the outside walls peeled away like a theater set. We are voyeurs on this private life and the constant presence of alcohol seems intentional and topical (although surely product placement at the same time, ah postmodernism) - alcohol fuels acts of violence and this relationship shows this in great detail. The violence is uncomfortable to watch and great pains are taken to show a parity of instigation and reciprocation but Fox's model body cannot be ignored and Monaghan's clear strength is clearly on display. Several scenes show violence shifting into passionate kissing and sex which blurs the lines between foreplay, rough sex, and a domestic disturbance. (Monaghan's comments about his violence towards Fox in shooting the video are rather eerie as well)

Now, I'm not asking that this video be a PSA, I understand that this is an entertainment product and I understand that this is to sell a song you already have stuck in your head. These relationships where, as Em says, "a tornado meets a volcano" exist and many people - male and female - enjoy differing types of rough sex. But I cannot knock the feeling that the power here still lays with Monaghan - he has the physical strength but he's also the one that brings Fox a teddy bear and a rose as an apology, a move that cribs from our common sense understanding of the abusive husband attempting to make nice with his tortured spouse. Further, the video cannot escape what we know about Eminem - this is clearly his story - from the white Ts to the vaguely working class setting and the substance abuse - and Em has never been quiet about his desire to kill women, especially Kim, his ex-wife. Further RiRi only gets the rather generic chorus about her love of the painful relationship, whereas Eminem gets to rap more specifically about the give and take of this complicated (or presumably complicated) union [For more on the song's structure check this article from NPR]. And Rihanna is the public victim, called upon in this song to sing the haunting and addictive chorus, and in this video to be merely a spectator with Eminem. She does not talk about her life - or if this is truly the nature of her relationshp with Chris Brown, then she's been lying to us for an album and a media blitz. And given Brown's failure to own up to anything (show me the acutal apology without the subsequent backpeddling, fake tears or tour of his shoe closet) I am on Ri Ri's side here.

Race is interesting too because in making Monaghan an Eminem proxy, and pairing him with Fox, Rihanna's story of a woman of color being abused by her Black partner is erased from the visual and aural narrative - instead we are given the story of two white people living below middle class. This is not to say that this narrative is not many people's lives, but Rihanna's history does not go away because she is left outside (and interestingly doesn't burn either).

Muddying the waters about intimate partner violence, throwing love into the mix, ignites a nasty fire of pop music poison. The actual literaliztion of the fire in the song's chorus is first seen when Fox literally plays with fire - interestingly this visually quotes the idea of woman throughout various mythos bringing chaos about - and marks her as the destructive element. Eventually we see fire coursing across Monaghan, Fox and Eminem (set apart from the couple in some serene pasture for undisclosed reasons, couldn't they have given him a snazzier outfit out there?). The fire engulfs the house only with RiRi and Eminem standing in front of it, but then we see Monaghan and Fox in front of it kissing, and then we close with them once agin intertwined in bed.

So what is happening here? "Love The Way You Lie" is sexy - both as a song and as a video with beautiful people playing at working class like they bought the mise-en-scene online. But it's undoing the disturbing nature of Eminem's song, making it seem more about how love is a powerful force that sometimes emerges as violence which flies in the face of decades of feminist work to expose violence as antithetical to vioelnce. We are unfortunately still not at a place where domestic or intimate partner violence is understood as a real problem by everyone. "Love The Way You Lie" wants to make a statement about this, but also show us that this is a tit-for-tat relationship. In spite of its best efforts, it still reveals a bias in favor of the man's mastery of the situation. That doesn't mean that it's a bad video (even if there's a level of hokum about the whole enterprise) or that I don't think Em is smoking hot, RiRi looks great with red hair and that that the song doesn't lure mean it. Rather, I think it lacks the nuance I think it has and instead gives a half-baked moral about women ending up in violent relationship that they like and being unable to leave, and maybe they should, but shucks, it's all love's fault. Sadly, that line, "I do it because I love you," is far too common.